Free Consultation & Discovery Session Questions for Sex/Itimacy Track

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      Alina Frank

      15-20 Free Consultation for Sex and Intimacy Track Coaches

      The key with a free consultation is to listen more, ask questions, and talk less. You will successfully enroll more clients and turn consultations into paying clients if you are conveying that you are interested and that you are knowledgeable about the problem. More than the other tracks you need to be extra discerning about who you accept as a client depending on the issue(s) your client presents and your scope of practice.

      One of the challenges you may have to work through before working in this arena is your own level of comfort with what you say or ask or even repeat in the example of setup statement. Your potential clients will likely sense that you aren’t comfortable and they won’t feel the level of safety to reveal this very private part of their lives. Treat this a sacred work and tell them so. Tell them that there are ways of using tapping that involves revealing very little about troublesome events (Tearless Trauma, the Box/Container, the Movie Technique). Stress confidentiality (minus your exceptions for example finding out that they intend to cause harm to self or other). You may be the only other person they ever reveal certain events to- ever. It is not appropriate to discuss your own sexual history to a client or potential client but you can refer them to an article or about me page on your website. A simple, “yes I have had sexual injury in my past” is sufficient.

      Types of questions to ask:

      Can you tell me more about the issue and how does it affect your life now?

      What else have you tried? Was any part of that process/technique/method successful for you? What was missing?

      Where you do think this comes from? Can you tell me a little about the history about this issue? When you ask questions like this, you are also listening to their answers to gauge whether the fall within your scope of practice or is the client one you’ll need to refer. If you need more information then take the time or schedule another consultation to be sure. There will be times when you know right away that it’s not a good fit – heed that inner guidance system. I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve worked with practitioners who had bad outcomes with clients when they had a knowing in the consult that was saying “WARNING!”

      After you’ve heard all this useful information and have decided that you should at least move forward with a Discovery Session then explain what your packages are and what the next step will be if they choose to proceed.

      Wrap it but by telling them that you’d love to work with them and ask if they’d like you to followup with your scheduler and new client packet. New client packet can just be an email with your payment link, your legal client agreement, a form that has their emergency contact information, your scheduler, a tapping chart or video you create or even the 12 hour Science of Tapping streaming access link. The email should thank them, state that you look forward to getting started, and invite them to consider all you’ve sent and bring any questions they have with them to the Discovery Session.

      30-45 Minute Discovery Session for Sex and Intimacy Track Coaches

      Start by addressing any questions they have about your policies and procedures or tapping. Explain that you are just creating a map for where you will go and what goals you are both going to be working towards so that in the next session you can jump right in with the tapping. Tell them that you will not be tapping during this session.

      Explore why and what resources they have during this journey with you. “I like to ask my clients to commit to self-care during the time we work together and resources are important especially if we get to tapping on some challenging moments you’ve experienced. What would you say are the things in your life that make you feel good and nurtured? Exercise, time in nature, time with friends, regular meditation time?” I feel that it’s helpful here to tell your client that you’d like for them to include/explore ways to connect more with their body as sex and intimacy healing could involve a reconnecting to one’s body. You can possibly use this list as homework assignments in between sessions. If you happen to get a client who says they have no resources or have no one please see this as a YELLOW flag as possibly being a person who needs more than you can offer as an unlicensed non-mental healthcare professional.

      Bring your notes from the consult to ask them open-ended questions about their issue.

      Sample questions:

      Can you go over what the intimacy/sex challenge is? How does this show up for you?

      When was the last time this dynamic happened? (This information might be an ideal place to start tapping in the next session).

      Are there any cultural or religious mores you want me to know about? For example in some religion self-pleasuring is not allowed.

      Do you have thoughts about the possible origins of this issue? How might your childhood or your parents played a role?

      Do you know or suspect you have sexual injury in your past? What makes you suspect it?

      Do you have any body image issues that might be contributing to this issue?

      Do you have any stress in your current romantic relationship that might be contributing to the problem?

      Is there any medical that might be playing a role?

      What makes the problem worse? What makes it better?

      How would you know if we were successfully in turning this around? What might be signs between now and fully healing from this that will make you know we are making progress? Come up with short and long terms goals with them based on the answers

      You can also ask them what if anything have they tried in the past and what has worked and what hasn’t. The list of what hasn’t could end up being a fruitful avenue of tapping material in a future session or can be assigned as homework to tap on.

      LISTEN CLOSELY to anything that sounds like a history of BIG T Traumas. Listen to this example of a complex Discovery Session. Yellow flags should have you considering asking them the ACEs questionnaire. There are legal issues with you sending this digitally and why we recommend only asking these in the Discovery Session. Make sure that you don’t sound alarmed but rather something like, “I hear that you’ve been through a lot and so to just take this inquiry a little deeper while keeping you comfortable and safe I’d like to ask you 10 questions and it’s really important that you just give me a yes or no answer. REMEMBER THE TRAUMA PULL AND THAT YOUR PRIORITY IS TO KEEP THEM SAFE BY NOT “GOING THERE” IN YOUR DISCOVERY SESSION if possible.

      Think about what you’d like them to do before you see them again for their first tapping session. It might be for them to create a resource list or to think about doing one of those items. It might be to look at their issue/problem/struggle in terms of how it’s affecting their lives now which is also an ideal place to start tapping in the next session.

      • This topic was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by Alina Frank.
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