Feel the love…
We have so many testimonials, we can’t possibly publish them all, but the following have granted us permission, and we love sharing the love!
“Ten years, three houses and two children later, my heart still flutters when he comes home.” – Rebecca Boscovic
At the age of 26, I’d had only short romantic flings, followed by long bouts of celibacy. While most 20-somethings were in Chicago working their careers and living very social lives, I was working in my family business in the suburbs. My parents had died years before and I was taking care of a sick uncle. I was very alone with very few outlets. I also had very romantic views, thinking I’d just be found by the right guy, but I didn’t have a road map for getting there.
When I heard about the Learning to Find Love Course, I was skeptical. I figured any kind of system would be very contrived. Cautious of an easy-fix, one-size-fits-all approach to meeting the right man, I soon learned of Juli’s experience as a human resource consultant to Fortune 500 companies. Being a business professional myself, I understood that to succeed you need to use methods that work, not what you wish would work.
Through the Learning to Find Love Course I learned to use my own history of relationships to define my ideal mate. I also learned to allow him to be the man, the guy, the hero and the one who wanted to treat me like a queen. I’d had a lot of baggage that got in the way of being able to trust the man. But, the L2FL System gave me permission to be cared for and not have to do everything for myself. I didn’t have to do anything to warrant being loved – I didn’t have to earn my love. I just had to be me and have faith in him.
Equipped with these tools, I was confident to enter the dating world. I no longer was vulnerable to whether or not a man wanted me, but rather was in the driver’s seat of whether or not I wanted this man. By having the traits in my mind, I was able to check them off. With structure, I didn’t have to sweat the small stuff. I was able to let go. It made the whole dating thing doable and successful.
Through a dating service, I went out on six dates. All of them asked for my phone number, but I only gave it to the man who eventually became my husband. The L2FL system allowed me to trust myself and my judgment and trust him and who he was.
Ten years ago I used the Learning to Find Love Course to help me identify and prioritize the qualities I yearned for in a romantic and committed relationship. The L2FL framework continues to give me the strength to let go of the less important imperfections and celebrate the qualities of my man that make him my hero. Ten years, three houses and two children later, my heart still flutters when he comes home.
“I’m living proof that it’s never too late! After taking the Learning to Find Love Course when I was 70, I’m now 72 and happily married.” – Name Withheld by Request
I’d dated some in high school and college, but without finding someone I wanted to spend my life with. My girlfriends were getting married, but I never felt I wanted to.
After college, I began my career, which was very fulfilling. Dating seemed to be out of the picture and I think I felt that there weren’t any good available men. So, I just kept going along being busy and involved and didn’t think about it. Before I knew it, I’d retired.
As a retiree, I became involved in various social and exercise groups. I had time to date, but no one was interesting to me. I was becoming quite resigned that my chances were pretty slim. But at the same time, I was lonely.
That’s when I heard about the Learning to Find Love program. I had always thought, ‘When the right one comes along, I’ll know.’ But, I really didn’t know what the right one should be. I didn’t know what qualities or characteristics to look for. Juli was very patient with me and guided me so well. She led me to the point where I could identify the right qualities for my mate.
As a result, I widened my circle of friends and looked more seriously. I felt like I had some tools to work with and I was more confident in what I was looking for. My husband and I met in a senior activity group. He’s just everything that I think a man should be. It’s so obvious that he puts me first. This September, 2009, we’ll have been married one year. I was 71 when we married.
My husband and I think it’s amazing and God’s blessing that we found each other in our 70’s. We feel so blessed that we can share our life together. To anyone who thinks their time has passed, take my word for it: It’s never too late!
“The Learning to Find Love Course made meeting my soon to be husband an intentional act – not just a matter of luck… There’s a lot of life left. If you want to share it with somebody, you can.” – Lynette Simmons
At first I had my doubts about the Learning to Find Love Course. I thought I was too old or too picky or just too different! And, I was sure I talked too much, and I laughed too loud, while sometimes becoming serious and rigid in other situations. Of course, I could always be thinner.
Basically, I thought finding the right mate would never happen to me. And I was just not interested in slogging through a mediocre relationship with a man to whom I wasn’t attracted, just to be with someone.
But, at the age of 37 I was at the end of my rope. All of my friends were married and working on their second or third child. I was just working. The weird thing was that I worked with men all the time! I’d been to law school — there were men there and men all over the courthouse. I thought, ‘Wow, what’s the story’? I wanted more out of my social life than my cat.
So I was thrilled to find that the Learning to Find Love Course moved me to actively looking for the person I wanted to be with. The class really opened my eyes. It helped me to articulate exactly what I was looking for. Then, I learned how to evaluate the characteristics of men I had a chance to observe.
The Learning to Find Love Course made meeting my soon to be husband an intentional act – not just a matter of luck. I wanted to be married and didn’t want to wait for it to fall into my lap. Now, every man became a prospective mate.
After taking the Learning to Find Love Course, I felt way more in control because I knew exactly what I wanted. I was able to say with confidence, I’m not into that relationship. I had more positive energy. Instead of being that unhappy defeated single woman looking for a man – rejected, dejected, don’t have anything going on – I became open, happy, willing to try something.
But, you don’t lose your femininity. In the L2FL System, I consciously said, I’ll choose the female energy. The class teaches you to be the woman you already are, and how to make and keep this wonderful man happy.
I’m sure there are a number of ways to meet “the one”, but there is nothing like being “Mated.” This September I’ll marry the man I’ve been in a relationship with for the last five years. I believe the quality of our relationship is uniquely due to the techniques I learned in the Learning to Find Love Course. It’s obvious to me in the problems we don’t face and the way we handle the problems we do; the crazy unspoken traits that we have in common and the activities we enjoy together – the vacations, our home, cooking dinner on Friday night, cruising on his motorcycle, and, yes, a sex life that is vibrant and mutually compatible. I feel like I’m bragging when I’m just telling the truth.
When this started, I was 37. I was in that zone, where, I’m never getting married, I’m never having a baby. But, there’s a whole lot of life left. If you want to share it with somebody, you can. With the L2FL System, if you think you’re done – you’re not.
“I finally know what it’s like to be cherished by someone who thrills me.” – Rachel Samuels
Before the Learning to Find Love Course, I thought there were two kinds of men: the kind I was attracted to and the kind that I should be attracted to. At the age of 31, I’d had maybe three serious relationships. One was very satisfactory as far as chemistry was concerned and the other two were satisfactory as far as security. I figured I would have to do a lot of compromising in order to have a relationship.
But, really, I wasn’t clear on what I wanted and I hadn’t figured out that I couldn’t make a person or a relationship right for me. I’d stay in situations out of fear of being alone or not finding what I really wanted.
I’d escape into ideas of Prince Charming showing up, but then I didn’t have a solid foundation for the relationship.
The L2FL System gave me a paradigm that allowed me to judge a mate and a relationship based on solid aspects. It wasn’t based on ephemeral factors and I didn’t have to act from a place of fear and insecurity. I became fearless about eliminating any man in my life that wasn’t who I wanted. No other approach has allowed me to figure out and stay firm in having exactly what I want in a relationship with a man.
With the L2FL System I noticed that I developed so much more confidence and the ability to enjoy my life so much more. I just pursued things that make me happy. I became physically and energetically a much more attractive person.
Now, I finally know what it’s like to be cherished by someone who thrills me, and I finally feel like I have a solid relationship with a mature man who is also happy with himself. Loic is an amazing man who continues to delight and surprise me in his loving attentiveness and support of me.
The Learning to Find Love Course was a safe haven for me to express my deepest heart’s desires… and it’s been wonderful watching them come true!
“My life is unrecognizable since I took the Learning to Find Love Course. I thank God daily for Juli Vinik and her gift to the world.” – Mary Miske
I’d spent my twenties and early thirties in a series of recreational relationships, often more than one at a time. For me, the world was divided between exciting “bad boys” that attracted me but didn’t treat me well or nice guys that I ought to like but didn’t. Looking back, I realize that I was scared to say what I really wanted in a relationship. I didn’t think I was good enough to actually voice what I was looking for.
During much of this time I was living in Washington, DC. Almost all the women I knew were single. The DC culture was one with a lot of strong single women who had great houses and great careers, but didn’t have a significant romantic relationship. So, I wasn’t alone.
But, I wanted a mate. I decided that a change in geography might change my luck, so I moved to Chicago, “City of the Big Shoulders.” I took out ads in the newspaper, tried setups from well meaning friends and even a few blind dates. But, nothing seemed to click until I heard about Juli Vinik and her Learning to Find Love Course.
I loved the fact that Juli was a behavioral expert. Her comprehensive approach made so much sense to me. She helped me analyze whether the guys I dated were actually walking their talk. She helped me honestly examine my past as to what went right and what went wrong, so that I could have a solid foundation to attract the right mate rather than repeating mistakes over and over.
In addition, the Learning to Find Love Course helped me realize that I was exhibiting a lot of “male energy.” Part of this was my job. I’m a very get it done, action-oriented, strong leader type of person. I wound up competing with the guys I wanted to date! I wasn’t leaving room for a softer, more reciprocal part of me. I think I attracted more dates after changing my behavior than I had in the previous two years!
One of those dates became my husband. We’d worked at the same company for about one and a half years. I was in the office making plans; he was on the warehouse staff executing the plans. Well, I made a huge shipping error that he had to fix – and he never made me feel like an idiot. I took him to lunch to thank him. During lunch I was thinking, ‘is this a thank-you or is this a date?’
I’m happy to report that I had found my perfect mate. We’ve been married for 12 years and because I was “older” when we got married, I had given up on the hope of having a child. I am also happy to report that we have an adorable daughter. He is truly the man of my dreams who is not only sexy, but treats me like a lady. He brings out the best in me and has helped me believe in dreams again.
Bottom line: Learning to Find Love Course is very practical. If you follow the exercises and do use the L2FL System, you’ll get the results!
“Were it not for Learning to Find Love, I wouldn’t be happily married today” – Elisabeth Solomon
“I’ll call my story ‘Attracting the Man of My Dreams’. I always imagined that the purpose of a relationship was to provide a nurturing, safe retreat. But, I’d never really had that. At the age of 50, I was never-married, yet semi-happily involved in relationships with three different men. The Learning to Find Love Course changed everything.
After my partner died in 1991, I practiced “polyamory,” that is, multiple loving unions, for the next ten years. I think I adopted polyamory as a strategy because I believed you couldn’t get a committed, nurturing, monogamous relationship. I believed that all men would be dishonest or disingenuous at some point.
Through the Learning to Find Love Course I realized that I really didn’t have the level of intimacy and support I wanted with anybody. Every relationship left me feeling emotionally bereft. I allowed myself to face what I was missing – the kind of intimacy you can have when you’re growing a relationship with one person, not just protecting yourself with multiple partners.
The men I was involved with were great guys and are still friends of mine. But they weren’t qualified, using the L2FL criteria, to be my mate. With the help of Juli’s powerful coaching I began to understand my past failed selection pattern. I noticed that all of my past relationships had been with men who were highly intellectual, but who didn’t offer much emotional support. It had never occurred to me that my strategy for picking men was screwed up. I just thought, that must be how all men are.
I developed an entirely new set of selection criteria as well as the easy-to-use L2FL scorecard. Before the final course session I had attracted the man of my dreams.
He was the door guy in my building. He took care of my cats when I traveled. I thought, this wasn’t really possible, and I was sure the system was ridiculous. But I went with the flow. Now I’m glad I followed the L2FL guidelines. I’m glad I didn’t follow my gut which would have led me down the historical path to another failed relationship.
Now I have a relationship that provides a solid, nurturing undergirding. I have this place to totally be myself. Before I was trying to create trust through agreements, which never worked. In this relationship, everything is open. I attribute this to using the L2FL System to pick someone with character traits that work best for me.
I’m eternally grateful to Juli for teaching me how to act in my own best interests. Were it not for Learning to Find Love, I wouldn’t be happily married today.
More Testimonials from Webinar Participants
“I’m very invested in this process. Very good feelings!”
“I’m relieved that the technology part is so simple for a not very tech person like me.”
“What Juli said about “recreational” dating vs. “purposeful” dating in Webinar was extremely helpful to me… SOOO much different from thinking about “am I good enough”, “do I look perfect”, “will he like me”, “where is this going”. RELIEF!!!!~!!”
“I have a feeling I will continue to use EFT “in the moment” when issues arise, AS I am discovering more of myself in my dating process. Really great tool!”
“I wanted to say that I got so much out of the class. I appreciated Diane’s (guest speaker and Learning to Find Love Mentor and Course Instructor) perspective and sharing – it caused a shift for me… I could totally relate when Diane said that she could not even fathom saying she was married… and that she was able to ‘loosen up energetically’ simply by (following the L2FL System). All of a sudden – that made me feel safe and hopeful. and my internal critic or blocker did not jump up saying ‘see you can’t do that – it won’t work for you’… instead I said to myself…’ I can (follow the system) – that sounds like fun!’…”
“…I knew (that’s why) I needed something to guide me as I started dating again. I needed to know me and find the joy of just being me again. I’d lost that for a long time.”
“Thank you Juli and Alina for a gift so precious.”
“…the step by step approach that Juli went through with (a class participant)… I really got how you can go from a place of non feeling to really feeling juicy on the inside. That was soo cool!!!! And filled me with hope!”
“My New Story of Why it hasn’t happened yet.
♥ I haven’t known how to recognize him until now.
♥ I didn’t know how to let him in.
♥ I needed some time to learn about myself and be ready for a lifetime mate.
No one ever taught me about “How to mate” or courtship, so I’ve had to experiment on my own and it takes a while to learn this stuff. I don’t have to beat myself up or feel embarrassed for the failed experiments. I have used them to learn about myself and what my needs are. I have used them to grow and help me clarify my vision. I mistakenly believed that if it wasn’t working, it was my fault and that I had to figure out how to “make it work”. I didn’t realize that… this can be fun.”
“…Learning to Find Love popped up through knowing Alina and now I am sooooo willing to spend the time Paying Now and never ever again Pay Later.”
“I was left feeling sort of disenchanted last night (immediately following Webinar) thinking well where’s the meat? Where’s what I need to get down to (what) I’m struggling with. And then along came the homework. Now that’s what I need, exactly! Good stuff.”
“I know beyond a doubt, that (my life) will include a mate at just the right time. I think of what you said, Juli. Maybe it’s only a matter of just stepping over that crack that’s in the sidewalk. Well, I’m taking that step…”
“I also wanted to express my gratitude for having been able to participate in the webinar. I appreciated reading the posts… I am always so amazed at how universal feelings are and also ‘feeling’ everyone’s spirits lift up as hope was being raised throughout the classes.
“Thank you Alina for your laser like ability to see what is needed!!! What a gift! Thank you Juli – there is such joy in your voice and authenticity that it uplifted me through out the course. The energy was so supportive – even through emails!!!”
“Thank you very much. I am going to retake the course – not as much for finding my mate… if that happens great – if not great. I think the real value in this class has been to exercise my muscles in the area of self respect, self love and feeling empowered and worthy.”